Gina Heslop
Bennett Kaspar-Williams, a 37-year-old transgender man who now identifies as non-binary, shared his emotional journey of pregnancy and the challenges he faced with medical staff during childbirth.
In October 2020, Bennett and his husband Malik welcomed their son, Hudson, through a cesarean section. While Bennett used he/him pronouns at the time and identified as male, the hospital staff repeatedly referred to him as a “mother,” which he found deeply distressing.
Bennett began his transition journey in 2014 after realizing he was transgender in 2011. He underwent top surgery but chose not to have lower body procedures.
When he decided to carry a child, he separated the idea of pregnancy from traditional gender roles, recognizing that bodily functions do not define identity. However, his experience in the hospital was a painful reminder of how deeply rooted societal perceptions of gender and motherhood still are.
Despite marking “male” on his medical paperwork, nurses and staff consistently misgendered him, calling him “mom” and ignoring his gender identity.
For Bennett, this misgendering undermined his sense of self and highlighted the lack of awareness about gender diversity in medical settings. He shared his frustration with the New York Post, emphasizing that the concepts of womanhood and motherhood are not inherently linked.
Bennett pointed out that not all women can become mothers, not all mothers give birth to their children, and not all people who give birth identify as mothers.
He explained that being born with a uterus doesn’t guarantee the ability to conceive or carry a child, making it essential to move beyond outdated definitions of gender roles.
Through his experience, Bennett hopes to raise awareness about the importance of respecting people’s chosen pronouns and identities, especially in sensitive situations like childbirth.
