Gina Heslop
One day, a wife received a letter from her husband. In the letter, he said he was leaving her for good. He explained that he had been a good man to her for their seven years of marriage, but he had nothing to show for it. He mentioned that the last two weeks had been tough for him. The final straw was when her boss called to inform him that she had quit her job. He felt that was too much for him to handle.
The husband complained that she hadn’t noticed his new haircut last week, even though he had cooked her favorite meal and wore new silk boxers. He was upset because she ate quickly, went straight to sleep after watching her favorite TV shows, and didn’t express love or desire for him anymore.
He concluded that she either didn’t love him or was cheating on him. In his mind, their marriage was over, so he decided to leave. He added a shocking note that he was moving to West Virginia with her sister and wished her a good life.
The wife replied with her own letter. She said receiving his letter made her day. She acknowledged their seven years of marriage but disputed his claim of being a good man. She watched TV to drown out his constant complaining. She admitted she noticed his haircut but thought he looked like a girl and decided not to comment, as her mother taught her not to say anything if she couldn’t say something nice.
She revealed that he must have confused her with her sister when he cooked the meal because she hadn’t eaten pork for seven years. She had turned away from his new silk boxers because she saw the $49.99 price tag still on them and suspected her sister had used the $50 she borrowed that morning to buy them.
Despite all this, she still loved him and wanted to make their marriage work. She then dropped a bombshell: she had won $10 million in the lottery, quit her job, and bought two tickets to Jamaica for them. But when she got home, he was gone.
She concluded by saying everything happens for a reason and hoped he would have the life he always wanted. Her lawyer assured her that his letter meant he wouldn’t get any of her money. She signed off as his “Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free” and added a final twist: her sister Carla was actually born Carl, hoping this wouldn’t be a problem for him.
